Dear You,
“I am nothing special,
of this I am sure. I am a common man, with common thoughts and I’ve led a
common life. There are no monuments dedicated to me and my name will soon be
forgotten, but I have loved another with all my heart and soul, and to me, this
has always been enough.” – From The Notebook, Nicholas Sparks
Enough. A word I mention to myself since that raining
evening last August 1, 2018. I was driving and we were talking. I sensed there
was something different about you, something off. Like there was something you
wanted to tell me but couldn’t figure out how. I knew if I probed I probably
wouldn’t want to hear what it was you were trying desperately to tell me. It
was another goodbye. Twice before it happened but this time, the third time, it
was also the last.
I came out of it dazed, confused, hurt, abandoned, and
jaded. It was as if I felt my soul leaving my body, my mind wandering into
space, and my heart crushed as we were both in tears.
When it was over, I hoped it wasn’t true. That it was just
something we had to go through. I prayed that a few days later you’d reach out
to say, 'I want to start over again'. Days turned to weeks, and weeks turned to a
month. But as my tears began to dry up, my heart started to regain its shape,
and my mind distracted from work...
it happened.
You met someone. And I knew the reason. Someone else can
make you happier. Someone else could probably love you more. Someone else could
take care of you. And for the longest time, I prayed to God that that someone
would be me. But He said I wasn’t ready. He said you had to be with someone
else.
They said everything happens for a reason. And in time, I
hoped I would understand and learn to accept that we were just not meant to be.
And in the billions of people in the world and the countless
hearts to care for, I had mine broken four times in a matter of six
months.
Maybe in time somewhere along the way, when our paths cross
once again, we could both smile and be grateful that once in our lives we met
each other.
So I leave this to you as a parting gift. Those eyes that I
wished would look at me differently and for the heart that I wished could love
me back... But never could. In the end, it’s like as you said, prayers and
time. I wish you well.
Always,
MeLove letters and idealisms by Noel Abelardo
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